So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
