Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
