She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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