Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
