Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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