Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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