Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He passed out mid-signature
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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