there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
