Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
