I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
