ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
