I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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