I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
