It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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