what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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