my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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