If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
