highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
