I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
