So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
