...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
