she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
