I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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