Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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