um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
