I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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