honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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