Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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