Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she smelled like a LAN party
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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