So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
