Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
