Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
