I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
