She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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