Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
