so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
