I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
