I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
