i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
