dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
