mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
