so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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