I hate all girls vehemently.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
