You were right. It hurts to walk today.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
