So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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