I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
