I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
