Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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