we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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