We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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